This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
