we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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