As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Randomize
