I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
