Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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