i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
