how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
