It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
