Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
