wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
