I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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