Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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