God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
