Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
