But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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