Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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