He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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