Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
