I am puke
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
