Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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