your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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