yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
