kristin has been a bad kristin
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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