A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
