And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
vagina is talking i cant
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize