Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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