I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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