I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
