why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
