So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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