I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
