Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
These tits shall not be calmed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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