forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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