i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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