At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I want her autograph on my taint
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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