Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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