found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
