You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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