and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
