dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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