i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
