So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
