I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
