Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
