my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
