Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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