I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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