She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize