I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
