It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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