he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize