im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
