bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
