Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
