You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
