Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
