About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
