I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
