from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
operation harelip BJ is a go
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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