I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
