advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Are my feet made of real feet?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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