i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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