Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize