You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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