he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize