I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
