the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Randomize
