If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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