the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
